Good Bye
by misspin
Summary: So here’s the thing Spike, I hear you’re alive.
1. So I Hear You're Alive

A/N: Just a quick one shot.  
  
So here's the thing Spike, I hear you're alive. You. Spike. Alive. No matter how many times I say it or hear it or write it... It just never seems real which is totally weird because you being dead never seemed real either. Oh scratch that. You were dead the entire time I knew you, weren't you? Well of course you were. You were a vampire. You were the big bad, the king of vampires (there's an ego boost for you). But you never really seemed dead to me... Is that weird?  
  
In short, you're back. And I don't what I think about it.  
  
Did you miss me while you were gone? Probably not. I mean you were in some other dimension or something right? I don't even know, maybe not. But I still don't think you missed me. You lived in my house for months...before we fought the first and we barely even talked. Can you even remember one conversation that we had during those months? One between just you and me? One with out Buffy in the room? One like the ones that we used to have?  
  
Regardless of what ever... I missed you. I hate that I did, but I definitely did.  
  
Do you even know how much you meant to me? I know I sound like some psychotic little kid, but I really liked you Spike. You were there for me after Buffy died. Maybe you only did it because she made you promise, but we were friends right? You liked me too didn't you? It wasn't just because I was her sister was it?  
  
Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to say that you loved me. Just that... Deep down you cared a little right? Can vampires with out souls care? Could you? At least a little? We were friends weren't we? All those nights that we spent just talking about anything but her...they meant something didn't they? They meant something to me.  
  
I think that you did care about me. During that summer, the one with out Buffy, I think you cared about me in a non-Sister-Of-The-Girl-You-Were- Maddly-In-Love-With way... Why'd you stop? Buffy came back and it was like I didn't matter... I still remember the night when you found me with her in the house, the night that she came back to us. It was like your entire demenor changed, you changed! Why'd you have to change Spike? Didn't you know that I liked you the way you were?  
  
I'm not just a silly little girl with a crush. I swear. That's not what this is about at all. I promise. Sure I did have a crush on you. (Did you ever even know? Or were you too busy thinking about getting in the good books with big sis?) You treated me like an adult. Like a person. Even when I was the key. Even after I wasn't. Thank you for that. Have I ever thanked you for that? I can't remember. In return I treated you like a person, she never did you know. Buffy I mean. At least not until you got your soul.  
  
And what was with that whole soul thing anyways? What the hell happened to Spike? You looked like him, but I didn't know who you were last year. I mean sure you looked like Spike, but you weren't, you were just soul boy. That's actually what I started referring to you as in my head you know, soul boy. I couldn't bring myself to think of you as Spike. Because you had stopped being my Spike a long time ago.  
  
You know I think I may have even hated you those last few weeks. Yea I did. I really really did. It was so hard, to see you every day and not even talk to you. It was terrible you know. I missed you so much. Even more than I miss you now. It was like watching myself lose my best friend, only I'd already lost you hadn't I?  
  
Then you had to go and do something stupid like save the world! You couldn't even let me be mad at you could you Spike?! You couldn't even let me have that! You always were a bit of a brat... Stupid Spike! I hate you! Only I don't. Sometimes I wish I did though.  
  
And now you're back. At least that's what Andrew tells me. He kept calling you Frodo though for some reason... Well anyways I guess I'm just writing to let you know I'm still alive.  
  
So look, maybe you shouldn't write back to this. I mean I probably shouldn't even send it, but I really just needed to say all of this. Actually I think I really wrote this because there's something that I need to say to you. I need to tell you good bye. I never got to tell you... All those months ago before the fight, so good bye Spike. I hope you have a nice life, er un-life.  
  
-Dawn Summers-  
  
A/N: Okay well tell me what you think! 


	2. I Miss You

Good Bye = Chapter 2: Good Bye Again  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summery: So here's the thing Spike, I hear you're alive. Dawn writes a letter. Spike doesn't reply. Therefore what does that leave Dawn to do? Why write another letter of course.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never have. Never will. I only like to play with the lovely characters.  
  
A/N: Well I know that I said this was going to be a one shot, but then I got to thinking... And then I was writing and then well the one shot came back to haunt us all in a second installment. I have no idea if there'll be another one. Who knows. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if inspiration hits me again. Oh and sorry for my poor writing. It's just supposed to be a letter that Dawn would write so I didn't really feel the need to make sure if was particularly good... I was going more for the whole honest thing...  
  
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What the hell Spike! I wrote you like months ago and you didn't even bother to reply! The very least you could of done was write me back! Sure I said that you probably shouldn't reply, but since when do you listen to a word anyone says? Count on you to listen this time. That's so like you, you...well I don't know what you are because I can't think of anything right now, but trust me it's bad. And insulting. Very insulting.  
  
The only reason I even thought of you was because Andrew told me that you were in Rome a while ago. Actually you were in our apartment, mine and Buffy's that is. Andrew isn't really living here, just crashing. But the point is you were in my god damn apartment Spike! Didn't you even think to ask where I was? Or how I was doing? Aren't you even a little curious? Well Spike I'm fine. Just fine. Andrew also says that you're still pretty hung up on Buffy. Surprise surprise. You seriously need to move on. This is verging on pathetic. She knows you're alive, or undead or what ever the hell you are and she never even called you or wrote you a letter or an e- mail or anything Spike! Why can't you learn to take a freaking hint! She's not interested! She doesn't care! She's moved on. She has a new boyfriend. Haven't you heard?  
  
Okay sorry, maybe that was a bit harsh... But don't you get it? I miss you god damnit. I just want to hear from you. Just to know that you're still Spike. That you really are out there. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't care. That's right I don't care. We used to talk about everything. That summer. Remember? Of course you do. Don't you? Sometimes I think you've forgotten. The guy who I knew back then wouldn't come back from the dead (er deader?) and not even call. Or write. Or anything. He just wouldn't.  
  
Well anyways how are things there with Angel Investigations, or Wolfram and Hart or wherever? Do you like it there? I thought you hated Angel. I actually seem to remember you saying, rather repetitively I might add, and I quote, "Angel is just a prissy vampire wanna be who wears lifts!" If you really can't stand him how come you're still there? What about being a Scooby? I mean last year you were practically a member of the team... You could come back you know. Buffy probably wouldn't mind so much, but then again you didn't always care whether or not she wanted you there. And Andrew practically worships you, so I know he'd like to have you around. It's really nice here you know, and there's plenty of dark alleys for you to slink around in and act all bad ass and vampirey... If you really love working at Wolfram and Hart so much you could always transfer here... Maybe even just for a little trip? And I guess I wouldn't mind seeing you around either you know, just for old times sake. We could catch up.  
  
Okay wait why am I like begging you to come visit? You can't even pick up a freaking pen and write me, so why on earth would you do something crazy like come visit me? I mean us. Yes, us, not me, us. All of us. Cause I'm sure I'm not the only one who misses you, you know. There's no one left here to make snappy comments and to use funny British words. Well I guess there's Giles, but he's not so snappy with the comments, and his Britishness is more confusing than funny... And he's not as snarky as you always were.  
  
But you know I don't even miss you that much. You not writing me back just reminded me of all of the stupid things you've done over the years. And all the other times you've ignored me. Besides we never really were all that close. Sure we talked a little over that summer when Buffy was gone, but I mean even then... Besides you're just some stupid vampire with a soul. I mean how lame is that right? Like what you're the big bad cliché who's seen the error of his ways and went on some lame ass quest in the name of love to change yourself so some blonde super hero chick would love you? Okay so maybe it's not one of the most well known clichés, but what ever. You get my point.  
  
Yea so anyways I don't even know why I'm bothering to write you again because obviously you don't care and I don't care, so why am I even doing this? You know I never even liked you all that much. Uh huh. It's true.  
  
Well anyways, Buffy's calling. We're going out to dinner so I got to go. So yeah have a nice un-life Spike.  
  
-Dawn Summers-  
  
PS  
  
You better write back! Or else I'll come to LA and kick your ass myself!  
  
A/N: Well that's the end of the second letter. I know that someone asked me to write Spike's reply, but well we'll see if I ever get to that. Oh and if Dawn seems a little OOC in this chapter it's because she's supposed to be angry at him, so yea... Okay well I love reviews so if you could find in your heart to leave me one... I'd love you forever. Well not really, but I would greatly appreciate it! 


	3. A Bleeding Reply

Good Bye = Chapter 3: A Bleeding Reply  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summery: So here's the thing Spike, I hear you're alive. Dawn writes a letter. Spike doesn't reply. Therefore what does that leave Dawn to do? Why write another letter of course. Spike replies to said letter.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never have. Never will. I only like to play with the lovely characters.  
  
A/N: Well this is short. But it's not because I'm lazy... I swear! (Okay well maybe partially) I couldn't picture Spike sitting down and writing a nice long letter to our little Dawnie, at least not yet. So it's painfully short and to the point. Also slightly rambles at parts... Ug sorry.  
  
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God Dawnie, you're going to drive a good man crazy some day. If you want a bleeding reply you've got to tell a guy! Besides, I've been busy. Being a good guy is a hell of a lot of work you know, what with saving the world and all.  
  
And I'll have you know Bit, I was in Rome on business. Strictly there to pick up a Capo's head (long complicated heroic story that one is). I didn't have time to stop in and have tea with a little girl such as yourself. I was simply at your apartment to get information out of that prat Andrew.  
  
And of course I still think Angel is a bloody imbecile, and for the record he does still wear lifts. But Wolfram and Hart isn't so bad, has lots of resources and such. And the people aren't so bad, there's Fred, but I spose she's gone now and Wesley, although he's a bit too broody for my taste now. And Gunn is an all right fellow when he's not signing stupid contracts with the baddies. Too bad Harm and Angel have to be there. Shame, but right now we're working with a bit of a truce.  
  
Now I wish I could take the time to come visit or transfer to Rome so as to keep on eye on you Niblet and big sis, but things are starting to heat up here. Lots of missions and saving of the world to do. Standard hero things. You understand.  
  
-Spike  
  
PS  
  
By the I was shaking in boots at the thought of big bad Niblet kicking my ass!  
  
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A/N: And thus ends this painfully short chapter. I'll post Dawn's reply either later on today or tomorrow hopefully. Now please review!!! Thanks in advance. Oh and by the way, all of the business about Rome and the Capo's head really happened on last weeks episode of Angel. For a summery of what happened you can just go here:  
  



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